How do I even start this?
Well. I am a 30-something wife and mother of two. I have been married for 9 years now, but was with him on-and-off for 6 years prior to that. I feel blessed to have met the love of my life at a young age, but I can't begin to romanticize it. It's been difficult. We're both quite headstrong and apt to anger. At times, we seem to compete in ways that are unnecessary and just tiresome. But as much as we've fought, we've laughed...(and cried)...and laughed some more. There have been times for both of us when it seemed like going our separate ways was the only sane and rational thing to do - but nay. We are neither sane, nor rational and we love each other with a passion that has yet to be compromised.
But this blog isn't about that. Well, it is - but not specifically. This is about our sex life, and the road we've chosen to navigate together. We've both had other sexual partners prior to our marriage. Those 6 on-and-off years I mentioned did include other people and other experiences, but by and large, we've grown up together and so has our sex. We've made love, we've fucked, we've indulged in fantasies. I don't think our sex life is extraordinary in it's circumstances - like every other couple, we've had our ups and downs. There have been periods with lots of sex and periods without. We have jobs, kids, responsibilities and sometimes sex gets put on the back burner. It is what it is.
Except for my submission.
Yes, despite our normal lives and typical sex routine, we always come back to submission. My submission. And finally, I am at a point in my life where I want to pursue it on a more regular basis. This is without his urging, but certainly to his approval. Throughout our relationship, we've played with D/s. He's tied me up. He's spanked me. Etc Etc. Then, several years ago, circumstances were such with his job that we had to be separated for months at a time. To cope, we took to the computer - through emails, webcam and phone sex we continued to play. More and more and quite quickly, themes of my submission became the focal point and even though we were not in the same place, something clicked. And when he returned, it was amazing. We fell into a routine based on his rules for me, and my servitude to him - all sexually - and somehow, everything else in our lives magically came together.
Let me interject and say that I am not and never will be the kind of girl who would accept getting spanked for not doing the dishes. I am, in every other way, very much "in control." I think part of what makes sexual submission to him so appealing is that in my "real life," I am quite dominant. To give up control sexually is freeing and allows me to experience it without worrying about being in charge. I don't relate to the idea of being his "slave." I am an equal in this relationship, and as such, I consent to serve him sexually. It is a confusing concept - I know - and it's why I chose to start this blog.
Anyway, the routine I mentioned earlier ended up going by the wayside. There is no real reason, just that life got in the way. We've tried it several times since, and again - same results. Something stops us. We get caught up in other things. We're tired. We're mad. There's something good on tv. You name it, we could blame it. It just comes to a halt and neither of us hold the other accountable. And yet neither of us is happy to see it go.
So it is that we've committed to it once again. The "it" I will explain, explore, ponder and discuss here. I have agreed to follow certain rules and for the most part, 2011 has been going swimmingly. It's starting to slow again though and that's pushed me into making this blog. I don't want to intellectualize or analyze things too much, but I do want to get my feelings out there. I'm thinking that maybe - just maybe - by paying really close attention to the details, I can figure out why it does and doesn't work and if it's something I want to take further. For now, I'm not sharing this place with him. It's not a secret, but I want to get a few entries written before showing it to him. We've always been much better at communicating this sort of thing through writing versus speaking, so I think it will please him to see what I'm working on and why.
I didn't mean to write this much for my first entry. If you've read this far, I hope I didn't bore you. If the subject matter resonates with you, feel free to comment. This whole exercise is for me, but obviously this is a public blog for a reason. I would love to hear thoughts from those going through it all too. The internet is filled with lovely kinky blogs, and there will be some of that here for certain but if I end up making some friends along the way, you won't hear me complain.
Until next time,
~n~
Monday 7 March 2011
Something New
How do I even start this?
Well. I am a 30-something wife and mother of two. I have been married for 9 years now, but was with him on-and-off for 6 years prior to that. I feel blessed to have met the love of my life at a young age, but I can't begin to romanticize it. It's been difficult. We're both quite headstrong and apt to anger. At times, we seem to compete in ways that are unnecessary and just tiresome. But as much as we've fought, we've laughed...(and cried)...and laughed some more. There have been times for both of us when it seemed like going our separate ways was the only sane and rational thing to do - but nay. We are neither sane, nor rational and we love each other with a passion that has yet to be compromised.
But this blog isn't about that. Well, it is - but not specifically. This is about our sex life, and the road we've chosen to navigate together. We've both had other sexual partners prior to our marriage. Those 6 on-and-off years I mentioned did include other people and other experiences, but by and large, we've grown up together and so has our sex. We've made love, we've fucked, we've indulged in fantasies. I don't think our sex life is extraordinary in it's circumstances - like every other couple, we've had our ups and downs. There have been periods with lots of sex and periods without. We have jobs, kids, responsibilities and sometimes sex gets put on the back burner. It is what it is.
Except for my submission.
Yes, despite our normal lives and typical sex routine, we always come back to submission. My submission. And finally, I am at a point in my life where I want to pursue it on a more regular basis. This is without his urging, but certainly to his approval. Throughout our relationship, we've played with D/s. He's tied me up. He's spanked me. Etc Etc. Then, several years ago, circumstances were such with his job that we had to be separated for months at a time. To cope, we took to the computer - through emails, webcam and phone sex we continued to play. More and more and quite quickly, themes of my submission became the focal point and even though we were not in the same place, something clicked. And when he returned, it was amazing. We fell into a routine based on his rules for me, and my servitude to him - all sexually - and somehow, everything else in our lives magically came together.
Let me interject and say that I am not and never will be the kind of girl who would accept getting spanked for not doing the dishes. I am, in every other way, very much "in control." I think part of what makes sexual submission to him so appealing is that in my "real life," I am quite dominant. To give up control sexually is freeing and allows me to experience it without worrying about being in charge. I don't relate to the idea of being his "slave." I am an equal in this relationship, and as such, I consent to serve him sexually. It is a confusing concept - I know - and it's why I chose to start this blog.
Anyway, the routine I mentioned earlier ended up going by the wayside. There is no real reason, just that life got in the way. We've tried it several times since, and again - same results. Something stops us. We get caught up in other things. We're tired. We're mad. There's something good on tv. You name it, we could blame it. It just comes to a halt and neither of us hold the other accountable. And yet neither of us is happy to see it go.
So it is that we've committed to it once again. The "it" I will explain, explore, ponder and discuss here. I have agreed to follow certain rules and for the most part, 2011 has been going swimmingly. It's starting to slow again though and that's pushed me into making this blog. I don't want to intellectualize or analyze things too much, but I do want to get my feelings out there. I'm thinking that maybe - just maybe - by paying really close attention to the details, I can figure out why it does and doesn't work and if it's something I want to take further. For now, I'm not sharing this place with him. It's not a secret, but I want to get a few entries written before showing it to him. We've always been much better at communicating this sort of thing through writing versus speaking, so I think it will please him to see what I'm working on and why.
I didn't mean to write this much for my first entry. If you've read this far, I hope I didn't bore you. If the subject matter resonates with you, feel free to comment. This whole exercise is for me, but obviously this is a public blog for a reason. I would love to hear thoughts from those going through it all too. The internet is filled with lovely kinky blogs, and there will be some of that here for certain but if I end up making some friends along the way, you won't hear me complain.
Until next time,
~n~
Well. I am a 30-something wife and mother of two. I have been married for 9 years now, but was with him on-and-off for 6 years prior to that. I feel blessed to have met the love of my life at a young age, but I can't begin to romanticize it. It's been difficult. We're both quite headstrong and apt to anger. At times, we seem to compete in ways that are unnecessary and just tiresome. But as much as we've fought, we've laughed...(and cried)...and laughed some more. There have been times for both of us when it seemed like going our separate ways was the only sane and rational thing to do - but nay. We are neither sane, nor rational and we love each other with a passion that has yet to be compromised.
But this blog isn't about that. Well, it is - but not specifically. This is about our sex life, and the road we've chosen to navigate together. We've both had other sexual partners prior to our marriage. Those 6 on-and-off years I mentioned did include other people and other experiences, but by and large, we've grown up together and so has our sex. We've made love, we've fucked, we've indulged in fantasies. I don't think our sex life is extraordinary in it's circumstances - like every other couple, we've had our ups and downs. There have been periods with lots of sex and periods without. We have jobs, kids, responsibilities and sometimes sex gets put on the back burner. It is what it is.
Except for my submission.
Yes, despite our normal lives and typical sex routine, we always come back to submission. My submission. And finally, I am at a point in my life where I want to pursue it on a more regular basis. This is without his urging, but certainly to his approval. Throughout our relationship, we've played with D/s. He's tied me up. He's spanked me. Etc Etc. Then, several years ago, circumstances were such with his job that we had to be separated for months at a time. To cope, we took to the computer - through emails, webcam and phone sex we continued to play. More and more and quite quickly, themes of my submission became the focal point and even though we were not in the same place, something clicked. And when he returned, it was amazing. We fell into a routine based on his rules for me, and my servitude to him - all sexually - and somehow, everything else in our lives magically came together.
Let me interject and say that I am not and never will be the kind of girl who would accept getting spanked for not doing the dishes. I am, in every other way, very much "in control." I think part of what makes sexual submission to him so appealing is that in my "real life," I am quite dominant. To give up control sexually is freeing and allows me to experience it without worrying about being in charge. I don't relate to the idea of being his "slave." I am an equal in this relationship, and as such, I consent to serve him sexually. It is a confusing concept - I know - and it's why I chose to start this blog.
Anyway, the routine I mentioned earlier ended up going by the wayside. There is no real reason, just that life got in the way. We've tried it several times since, and again - same results. Something stops us. We get caught up in other things. We're tired. We're mad. There's something good on tv. You name it, we could blame it. It just comes to a halt and neither of us hold the other accountable. And yet neither of us is happy to see it go.
So it is that we've committed to it once again. The "it" I will explain, explore, ponder and discuss here. I have agreed to follow certain rules and for the most part, 2011 has been going swimmingly. It's starting to slow again though and that's pushed me into making this blog. I don't want to intellectualize or analyze things too much, but I do want to get my feelings out there. I'm thinking that maybe - just maybe - by paying really close attention to the details, I can figure out why it does and doesn't work and if it's something I want to take further. For now, I'm not sharing this place with him. It's not a secret, but I want to get a few entries written before showing it to him. We've always been much better at communicating this sort of thing through writing versus speaking, so I think it will please him to see what I'm working on and why.
I didn't mean to write this much for my first entry. If you've read this far, I hope I didn't bore you. If the subject matter resonates with you, feel free to comment. This whole exercise is for me, but obviously this is a public blog for a reason. I would love to hear thoughts from those going through it all too. The internet is filled with lovely kinky blogs, and there will be some of that here for certain but if I end up making some friends along the way, you won't hear me complain.
Until next time,
~n~
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